Giving birth….

This blog has been in the making for many years. Slowly incubating and waiting for its moment of birth. It seems only right that I give it life now.

I have had for a very long time, a desire to write. And I could not quite figure out precisely what I wanted that to look like. This blog, for me, is both a place of catharsis, and a place to cultivate and build community and a sisterhood. It is difficult I think, now more than ever, to navigate the public spaces we have and share with one another as women of color. What I wanted to do was give myself a place to create a community of sorts, to share my experiences, thoughts, lessons and to be my multi-dimensional self in a space that I curate. As a young brown girl, I never felt I had a space of belonging. And even now as a 35 year old woman, I find myself yearning for that space. A large part of this blog as well, is resistance. There is no more important time than now for me to create this space.

There are three separate, but interwoven themes of this blog. The first is this city. Los Angeles is one of the great loves of my life, and I have only a few of those. This is where my roots are, I was born here (many times over) and have lived various lives all over this city. And while I did spend my adolescent years in the Bay Area after my mom remarried and moved my sister and I there, I had said since the moment I left that I would come back, that this is where I wanted to be. There are few things (or people) I have loved like I love LA. I want to share a bit of that.

The second part of this blog, is about life and all that that entails for me- politics, education, feminism, art, literature, film, food, fashion, design, music, sisterhood, motherhood and womanhood … all of it. I find that there are not many spaces both in real life and virtual life that I find comfort in or that resonate with me entirely. There are certainly people, places and things that touch pieces of me…but I find myself always searching for something that feels like home. This endeavor is my attempt at building that home and opening it to whomever might find solace or comfort in it, inspiration or motivation.

The last and final piece of this is me. I am a new mother, and a single mother at that.  But before that, I existed in so many different spaces and times before I became the woman I am today. I am still in the process of evolving and becoming the woman I am meant to be.The birth of my daughter was also a moment of rebirth for me in so many ways.  And while being a mother is important and beautiful, motherhood has also been traumatic, isolating, confusing, and just overall the most difficult thing I have ever done. From balancing work and motherhood, and still honoring my independence, to dating, and health, self care and love, both finding it and losing it in its many iterations and manifestations,  and all of the other multitudes in which I exist…all of these things are so present for me and I found myself needing a space to articulate my experiences and thoughts. I often tell my friends, I have made all the mistakes a woman can make already, just learn from me….but just as I never listened, they are forging their paths forward, with me at their side ready to grow and heal with them. This is my healing. This is my offering for us all to heal, and to move forward. It took me sometime to find my voice, and to trust it. And, at this particular moment in history, I find myself compelled to honor that voice. SO. Here is to births and rebirths. To endings, and the beginnings they give birth to.

 

 

 

 

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